sinisterbeauty

I’m not going to get specific here but if you’re a friend on LJ, read my current post.

In other news, does any one understand “micro management”? I don’t see the benefit in hovering over employees and creating petty situations to excercize power. It makes for a negative work environment, fills employees with a sense of being distrusted and it generally seems to suck time off the clock into a void.

I hear from people that a lof of work places are like mine yet I’ve worked for other employers previously and have not encourntered the sort scenario I see where I am now. I also hear now from people that they have never experienced this kind of environment before and not in a good way. I just wonder what the psychological benefits are for the type of environment where everything is a system of petty checks and balances. It must be based on ego more than logic.

Anyone else out there in a similar quandry? I just have to scratch my head a lot of the time because I do not get it. I don’t get lying to people or keeping basic information from people in order to keep them weak instead of encouraging knowledge and positive empowerment in that knowledge.

I gotta get back to work. I hope everyone else out there is having a good day.

- k

Randomailia, oh how I love you so.

Officially, I have a summer “bug” of some sort, not to mention several “summer bugs” (ie. ’squitos) have partaken of my tasty blood supply. My throat is all swolled up, my head hurts, I’m sneezing, achy, in short … feeling no love from my body. I took some more sinus meds so hopefully if I don’t fall asleep at my desk, I at least get through the day.

My brain is, as it often is, a buzz with many thoughts but on one particular track. I know when I was younger, I worried more about being “alone” or lonliness. Now my perspective is that I’m enjoying getting to know myself better for a change, enjoying those truly special people who I truly care for and truly care for me in return in my life and realizing that there is a time and place for all things.

Ok, not to say I don’t wish now were the time and my bedroom were the place for some adult snuggling but honestly, I’m liking curling up with some fine tunes and reading a book more than I would like trying to gauge someone else’s wants and make sure to include mine. I don’t want to deal with anything like that right now. I want to enjoy exploring my own head for a while. I spent many years trying to get into other people’s heads and now it’s time to both get into mine and also get out of it (ie. get a social life).

Baby steps my deer, baby steps.

I can’t wait for today to end so I can head home and take a hot shower/bath and relax. Gotta pay bills tonight with “T” and also put my computer together and unpack some more. I can do that this weekend. I’ve been contemplating inviting people over so I should really unpack. I’m also thinking of inviting people over for dinner and sugary confections. I like making food for others, though I’m not a stellar cook.

Talk to you later bloggy blog land, I’m going to finish my nourishing chicken soup and eat some wheat thins. Well and work, I’m at work right now on my break so I will of course have to continue doing kimby-work-stuffs.

love - k dawgie dawg

Not feeling especially great today, something sinusy and making my tonsils hurt. Otherwise I’m in a fair mood. I had an interesting night moving furniture in the office area, getting online for “T’s” computer and then some guy related events in her life.

Thinking on the guy related events, I focused on some interesting thoughts and behaviors. One item that seemed like an unintentional theme last night was crushes of admiration. It seems like over time, as we get older we some times develop “crushes” on our peers that are based on our admiration and respect for them. I’ve had these before which developed into other areas of attraction but lately I’ve been thinking about someone I know on the basis more of admiration than attraction. While talking with “T”, it sounds like she has an admireer that feels that way for her … a “love” grown out of the admiration and respect felt for her.

I remember touching on this topic in Psych 101 years ago. It seems that it was something I forgot existed, that you could develop an infatuation based on your admiration/envy/respect/etc for someone and realize that you really like them but you’re not necessarily attracted to them, per se. That could develop too I would think after enough time but the point is, I think it’s an interesting part of human life.

This also leads me to a conversation “T” and I had about romantic love. We know that there are chemical reactions in the brain that cause euphoria when we’re “in love”. It seems these chemical reactions do fade over time and a lot of couples don’t weather this fading effect well. I’ve been in those relationships before where the lust and chemistry was overwhelming but only to eventually uncover that we had little in common or little genuine affective/respect/love for each other.

I think the secret in that is to realize that the “chemistry” will start to fade. Hopefully what you have at the end of that experience is genuine respect/love/empathy/mutal interests/etc left. Some times your love can become your friend in a relationship but really, they should have always been a dear and respected partner and after the urges leave the relationship, the other good aspects of it should be nurtured.

Blah blah blah, right? I’m just thinking too much. Must be the sinus medication I took.

“Are friends electric?”

They shouldn’t be … and they shouldn’t be objects either but fully respected individuals whom you strive to understand. Or something. It’s not cold outside, Gary …

- k

Finally all moved into the new place! I look like I went a round with George St. Pierre but otherwise, I’m good. The cats are adjusting well and I like Tess’ dog, Sadie. The only issue is that Earl is freakishly skittish so he’s not thrilled but at least he’s not hiding as much.

Nothing much else going on, just working and wishing I were home unpacking. I can’t wait to have that all done and get the house warming/birthday concept in the planning stages. I’m not sure where we would put people though, it’s a small house and already crammed with our belongings.

I hope everyone had a nice, safe long weekend. If you get a chance and have spare cash (I know, most of us don’t) please donate to the March of Dimes fund raiser at either of these links.

http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/shellygullick
OR
http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/Julzb_az

- k

It’s Monday, again. I know I’m not the only one who don’t like Mondays but geeez.

In other news, still not moved totally. Still need to move my furniture, pack the odds ‘n ends and move my remaining clothes. It seems daunting though. I really do hate moving. I like being moved and into a new, fresh place but the whole back breaking work thing turns me off.

Speaking of that, I didn’t really do any major lifting Sunday but my lower back felt even more tweaked than it had all last week. It’s was like someone kicked me in the lower spine with steel toed shoes. I couldn’t sleep last night b/c the pain was so bad and it made my legs and hands hurt something terrible. It’s barely getting hot and already it’s killing my body. How I long for cooler climates.

In the final bit o’ Monday news, I tried to call my Mom for Mother’s Day, despite the fact that we’re “on the outs”. As usual, her phone was busy (aka off the hook). I called Mom 2.0 and wished her Happy Mother’s day and she seemed glad I called. I talked to my Dad who said I should leave a message at work for 1.0 so she knows I at least made some effort. I said I would but got kind of mad b/c I’m the one making the effort and she’s the one not returning my calls and acting like she is five years old. *shrug*

Life requires a lot of thought and a lot of systematic planning. I never realized this when I was younger. It’s a 50/50 split on whether I’m glad I realize it now. Some times I just wish I could ignore things like I did when I was younger. Now I feel guilty about everything. Maybe I just need more B12?

Toil on fellow workers.

- k

I’m getting a haircut today. I know, I know … so exciting you can barely take it! It is for me though b/c my hair has gotten to be a long, split endy mess. I’m thinking of going for something somewhat edgier than usual.

I like the above haircut which might work for my thin, fine hair. It’s back to it’s natural dirty blonde shade which might look decent with that cut. Maybe I’ll post a pic if I can upload one later today.

Gotta go, my break is almost over!

- k

Per Devin’s request to those who attended the Friday night show @ Lost Leaf, I posted my quick assessment. Compared to the other comments, I rambled like a freak. Though, I do that.

read the insane verbosity - scroll down to read

Otherwise, today’s alright. I have a massive, unhappy wisdom tooth that’s threatening to make me shoot myself. I need to find a jaw surgeon in Downtown to cut the darn thing outta my head. Anyone know anyone good?

*dizzy*

Ok well back to painfully chewing my left over lunch and hoping the day flies by. Tonight I’m heading over to the house to unpack my bathroom supplies and put up a cabinet/toliet thingy. I need to pack waaay more as well this week. I hate moving.

- k

I had a long and interesting weekend which may deserve a longer post but which will not get one now.

I did see Mr. Meeble play Friday at the First Friday Artwalk @ Lost Leaf. As always, great show. And as always, I was impressed with the video played in the background. Trippy is a good word to describe but also sexy and dark. Sadly, it’s reported (by Devin) to be the last Meeble show here. I probably should have posted about it before the show but I’m slow. Also, my internet is off at home so I’m posting from work. *shhh*

Also this weekend was a premier for The Crypt (got the name wrong on Twitter Friday). My buddy, E. Adam Thomas, had a small, lineless role in the film but was no less fantastic. He got to kill a hot guy at the end of the film so that’s always fun. I spend much of the time chasing his adorable 4 year old around Chandler Cinema which was entertaining in it’s own right.

Sunday was moving boxes into the new house. I also had drinks with Chuck at Seamus McCaffery’s. Locals may know him as Tom Friday or Tomcat. He’s a staple at the Firehouse downtown and a local artist. He’s a cool guy.

All in all, I’m at least feeling human having gotten out of my cave for a bit though my back is killing me. I’m getting old!

Hope all is well out there in the World.

- k

PS. Oh there was also a car fire. I’ll post the picture when I have internet at home again since the image is on Myspace and I can’t access it at work. Bummer. No one was hurt though an El Camino was destroyed.

Things have been hectic and there’s been slow going for the domain as far as updates. I’m hoping to get things added soon. Sadly, I’ll only have internet at work for the next few weeks as I’m moving. I have transfered the internet to my new place where my new roomate, Tess, is going to be living effective tomorrow. I opted to do this b/c I don’t really get online much at home and I should really be packing. *bites lip*

Things will be great though soon! We’re moving into a historic house, built in 1920! It doesn’t feel haunted so that’s a plus. We’re excited. I’m looking forward to having a house warming party as soon as it’s decorated and I have ample seating.

In other news, Mr. Meeble has an upcoming show. I think it’s tomorrow. *reads text message* D’s text says it’s at Lost Leaf on 5th Street and Roosevelt @ 7 pm. You should go. *points at reader*

I gotta go. Talk to you soon enough!

- k

YouTube - Azure Ray - November.

After many posts to livejournal about my recent (though long on-ongoing) decent in to “hermity-ness”, my buddy “King of Hell” posted a link to this song to my lj. Needless to say, it rang painfully true with me. Maybe it will with you too … though I hope not.

- k