yeah, it’s been interesting

December 17, 2009
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Well, now that I have a laptop I have no excuse not to get back to my blogging. This of course means posts composed completely naked or at least in weird clothes and at weird times.

To bring you, my dear reader, up-to-speed I’ll start with my “termination” aka how I got laid off.

The day before Halloween, a Friday and the day that the preschoolers were going to come over to Trick-or-Treat the office should have been a joyful day. I didn’t feel like dressing for the holiday and I was already late getting candy for the kids. I went to Walgreens to pick some up but decided I should check my bank balance. When I found that I had not been paid, I thought that was rather odd. I went into work but started to get that sinking feeling you get when something is going to go down but you convince yourself nothing will happen but you really think you should have stayed in bed. This day I was right, I should have stayed in bed.

I got to work and mentioned to my co-worker, Nancy, that I had not gotten paid. She checked her account and low ‘n behold, she had not either. We also happen to have the same bank. She spent the morning asking around but to no avail, we were the only ones (save one other lady who wasn’t sure) that had not gotten paid. By the time our 10 am break rolled around, I had the silly idea that we must be terminated because why would we be the only ones not to get paid? We laughed and she said “really, you think they would do that?”.

We came into the office from break and called the bank who verified that no funds had been deposited. I talked to my friend, the office accountant and she indicated that our stubs had “paid in lieu” on them. This generally means that the employee is terminated and being paid in-lieu of the time they’re owed. It was then I knew for sure that after 5 long years, I was being laid-off. It wasn’t long before my friend talked to the owner to “straighten things out” and we were called into his office. The rest was pretty quick - basically we sat down, he told us that due to the economic conditions, our positions couldn’t be justified and that we were being let go. We were not paid at this time but we were given mocked up pay stubs. No one said anything as he indicated he was sorry to have to do it (my boss just happened to be out that day) and how he would make sure he wrote us all letters of recomentation (which I still have not rec’d to date). He indicated it had nothing to do with our performance but it was just the economy.

At the end, he asked if any of us had anything to say. I told him I wanted to speak to him alone. He granted my request but asked his CSR to stay in the room (I guess as his witness). I told him that was fine, I had no problem speaking in front of her. At this point, I asked him if he had kept me from getting the corporate job I had appllied for. (The background is that I applied for a job with the corporate office, went to UT and interviewed and was all but offered the job when I took time off for surgery. During the surgery off time, I waited for the corp office to confirm everything but the hiring manager advised they were waiting on the owner to confirm it was ok, saying they had emailed him and left him voicemails but he didn’t respond to them.) He danced around the topic, saying that the layoff had nothing to do with my performance, etc. I said that I knew it did not, that I know I’m an excellent employee but he kept dancing around, saying the same things. I had to ask three times and finally he said he didn’t even know I applied, saying I never told him and he didn’t receive any voicemails or emails. I wanted to ask him if he was calling the VP of the particular department a liar but I thought better of it. In the end, he managed to not admit to anything but in my mind I knew he had done something to prevent me from getting a better paying job with more responsibility because he could, God only knows why else - only to lay me off a few months later.

There just isn’t any justice in this world is there?

So there I was, freshly laid off. I cried, for a little bit but once I got in the door that day, I hit the “pavement” running. I was constantly job hunting, I went to several interviews and thankfully, the silver linning is that I was offered a really great job which I started almost two weeks ago. There is a Santa Clause, Virginia.

Now I work for a great company, family owned and very nice. They’ve been great to me so far. After starting this fantastic new job, I also reconnected with someone very interesting. But we won’t discuss that now.

Here I am, much happier now than I was at that Hell hole I called my last job. I’m happy, my social life has really picked up since the layoff, I feel better about myself and life is good. Hopefully this will translate into more writing/blogging. I also just bought a new laptop so I can write in bed so hopefully that will help too.

If anyone reads this God-forsaken self promotion fest, bless you. If not, then Hell - it’s nice to vent a little. I keep things fairly tame as this is totally open for anyone to read. Other than that, hopefully the adventure will only get better from here out. Thanks for reading!

- k

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Public Humiliation or Personal Shame?

September 16, 2009
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Haven’t blogged for a while but I am filled with annoyance at the usual office life. As a veal in the fattening pens of the corporate work place, I frequently see ridiculous things that do not cease to amaze me. This is just one of many …

I have a co-worker whom frankly, I’m not thrilled with but that’s life. I don’t go out of my way to be rude, I just choose not to associate with her because she is like the Tasmanian Devil and I prefer to be chill. A few weeks ago, I heard her rant (as she usually does) about how no one picks up their print jobs and going on at length about how bad that is. After this, she proceeds to leave her print jobs at the printer for days at a time without picking them up. Each time, keeping that her indignant rant in the back of my head, I have caved in, picked up her print jobs and politely/silently brought them to her or put them on her desk. And each time, I don’t get any acknowledgement, not a “thank you” or “I’m sorry, I keep forgetting”.

This week, she printed out a copy of a customers check, an electronic funds form and her own passwords which she left for days at the printer. I waited around and finally this morning, not sure if she would be in or not, picked them up and attached a yellow sticky note saying “Please remember to pick up your print jobs. Thanks! Kimberly”.

She came in this morning to find this polite and reasonable note. She stormed downstairs to the office I was setting up a new computer in, shaking and red. She holds it in front of her saying “what is the meaning of this!?!”. I was so shocked that I may have stammered, yes I may have. I told her calmly that she had left those items at the printer for several days and I put them on her desk for her. She asked if I had given a sticky to every person who’s items were left at the printer and I said no, I had not. She said if I have a problem with her, to take it to management. *chuckled* I said I would do so and she stormed out.

This is the abbreviated version because she did raise her voice at me which I don’t deal well with. The fact that I didn’t jump up and “get ghetto” on her that second is astonishing. I keep my temper very well in check but when someone comes at me shaking, red faced with voice raised, that gives me PSD like flashbacks to my childhood and it’s not cool at all.

I drafted the following note:

“Manager”:

“Co-Worker” asked me to bring up an issue to you so per her vehement request, I am doing so. I apologize in advance for the trivial nature of this subject.

She had made loud comments a few weeks back re: people leaving their print jobs in the tray next to the printer. Over the weeks since then, she has left multiple print jobs for hours and days by the printer. I have kindly returned them to her when I have gone to pick up my print jobs in hopes she might be more diligent about picking up her own.

I observed this week that a voided check for “Customer Name” along with an EFT form and “Co-Worker’s” passwords were left in the tray. Since I frequently observed the voided check face up by the printer, I felt the right thing to do would be to take these sensitive items and put them on her desk with a friendly note to please remember to pick up her print jobs and left my name. I could have done this anonymously or printed out a note but that would be the cowardly/passive aggressive and least respectful route. I suppose I could have left those items indefinitely w/o respect to who might pick them up or how many times they may be reprinted but I felt it was better to return them.

“Co-Worker” approached me in a very agitated state and asked me if I had left a note for each person who has not been picking up their print jobs. I have honestly only observed one other person, “Other Co-Worker”, who leaves hers out. I did not leave “Other Co-Worker” a note but I have also not heard “Other Co-Worker” complain about how others need to pick up their print jobs. I indicated to “Co-Worker” that I had not, to which she replied that if I have a “problem” with her to talk to you. I do not have a “problem” with her but rather a problem with people complaining and then doing the very thing they complain about - only to get angry when you politely ask them to be more careful. My reasoning for leaving the note was a) it’s not a “personal” issue but a privacy issue and a data issue and b) it was bit trivial for management intervention. Upon further review, however, it is inappropriate to leave customers checking account information and one’s passwords for anyone could take and misuse.

We do have that spare printer if you’d like me to hook it up for “Co-Worker” and “Other Co-Worker” does have her own printer. Perhaps that might help the situation. If there is anything further you need from me, let me know. Thanks!

- Kimberly

Is this too much? My manager doesn’t return til Monday so I may rethink. I’m going to cc “Co-Worker” so that she doesn’t feel I’m doing anything behind her back. There is a strange feeling through out the workplace that I “snitch” people out. If I were that sort, I wouldn’t have left a g*ddamned note would I have?

Well, my chicken nuggets are my solice. I should finish lunch.

bye bye - k

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Depeche Mode! Depeche Mode!

August 25, 2009
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Taking a few moments during lunch to post about DM on Sunday. Actually, a very few brief moments because while it was a good show, the highlights for me were being close enough to see Dave Gahan’s sweat dripping from his slender, toned and tattooed body. I’ve said 1,000,000 times that I don’t “love Dave” but really, I would have considered risking bodily harm to lick the sweat off of that man. Same for Martin, just not due to any phyiscal attractive. God bless him but he looks like Death in sparkly creepers.

As far as my feelings about the actual musical performance, the band clearly had great energy onstage together - even after all these years. Lots of smiles and laughs and great crowd interaction (in my opinion). There were enjoyable “remixes” of the beloved songs from the past including an enjoyable “remix” of ETS. Probably one of the biggest highlights for me was Waiting for the Night (final song of the night). Dave and Martin came out onto a catwalk with their mics and did a very moving performance of the song together. Their vocals were in the best form I’ve heard in the 4 times I’ve seen them perform. Their “bare” performance of Waiting for the Night was absolutely delicious vocally.

Another highlight was Martin singing “Home”. That’s another of my favorite DM songs. It was over-the-top (as usual) but Martin’s voice was in such amazing shape that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. You know me though, I LOVE Martin. I LOVE MARTIN. I was also pleased that they played Fly on the Windscreen with is a personal favorite of mine. You can find the complete set-list (which I also took down so I can confirm it’s accuracy) at the website Depeche Mode dot com under the tour section and under set-lists. I’m also including a copy of the set-list below.

As far as the video screens, I found those less exciting than usual but I did enjoy one segment they did (can’t recall during which song) where there were blurbs about learning from God and Love, not being able to call oneself a Christian, Muslim, Jew etc any longer. I found that part really interesting and am wondering if there is any footage of that segment online. I did enjoy the live camera effects employed while shots of the band were displayed.

In any case, that’s my brief “review”. I could probably do better but I’m at lunch during work and my boss is asking me questions about our chat server. I’d better go for now. If you’re on the fence about going, I still think it’s worth it to see Depeche Mode because I still find after all these years that the updated versions of the old songs are very interesting and enjoyable. I enjoy the visual effects and personally, I have a great love of Martin Gore’s voice, being a fan of over-the-top operatic vocals. I’d say get the cheap seats if you’re there for the music and the visuals and invest in the more spendy seats if you can afford it. I’m certainly glad I did.

- k

    Set List 17

  1. Phoenix (August 23rd, 2009)
  2. In Chains
  3. Wrong
  4. Hole To Feed
  5. Walking In My Shoes
  6. It’s No Good
  7. A Question Of Time
  8. Precious
  9. Fly On The Windscreen
  10. Little Soul
  11. Home
  12. Miles Away / The Truth Is
  13. Policy Of Truth
  14. In Your Room
  15. I Feel You
  16. Enjoy The Silence
  17. Never Let Me Down Again
    Encore #1

  1. Somebody
  2. Stripped
  3. Behind The Wheel
    Encore #2

  1. Personal Jesus
  2. Waiting For The Night (Bare Version)
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kimbykat: i rot at home for no man any longer! these boots were made for dancing, bitch. and these arms were made for lovin’ someone lovin’ me.

August 21, 2009
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FACT: Many women — about one out of three — have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. (Planned Parenthood)

If you couldn’t tell from the above, I’m one of those 1 in 3 women who have difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner. I know, TMI? Maybe. But I’m not alone, I know lots of other women who have this problem too. I must say, I am sick of hearing from men that I “just haven’t met the right guy” or “he’s not doing it right”.

The fact of the matter is, I’ve had a few wonderful lovers who still weren’t able to “make me come”. Sorry, it’s not about “making me” do anything. It’s about doing what works at the time, about taking the time to try and not just expect me to do all the work and then pretend like you slaved away when really you just provided the penis.

Guys: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. Just stop treating us like we’re freakin’ robots that you can manipulate! Stop being jack-asses and just give us the care and attention that might actually help us get where we both want to go.

( … from protected LJ entry … )

I have to keep reminding myself. “I’m not a doormat, I’m not a doormat …”.

- k

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i just turned 30 and all i get are these pesky vampiric abilities!

July 29, 2009
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Well, the big “3-O” has come and gone. Yesterday in fact. The other week I felt like bloody Hell but this weekend, I ran from 6:30 am Friday through Friday night at Trans (on Central), all night skinny dipping then home in time to put in a new washer and dryer then running around getting ready for the b-day get-together Sat night all through cooking, dancing barefoot on the wood floors and David Lynch fun. *panting b/c that was one F*CK of a run-on* Theeeeeen, up all the rest of the night after David Lynch fun and deep into Sunday with only 3 hours of sleep. I finally got to bed around 10 pm Sunday night. What’s more (and scariest) is that I wasn’t really that tired and though Monday morning was a bit of a bitch, it wasn’t as bad as I was fearing.

I came to the conclusion that I must have some how become a psychic vampire and I’m just leeching other people’s life-force. Come on, what other explaination could there POSSIBLY be? *chuckle* Either that or someone slipped me drugs at the pub Friday night. I doubt that though.

The party Saturday night was good fun. I’m glad I know the people that I do because no one complained that we listened to a few hours of uninterrupted Depeche Mode songs and remixes. And no one seemed horrified that I ran around the house in very Hello Kitty inspired pink and white jammies, ultimately running around in my shorts and bra. But I guess no one is shocked by anything I do any more which is fine … I’ve been doing odd things my whole life and by 30, who freakin cares any more?!?!

So the weekend was quite nice. It’s nice to have people wishing you happy birthday for two weeks before your birthday too. :-) My actual birthday was yesterday and by comparison it was pretty normal. I dragged arse out of bed, made it to work and enjoyed Hello Kitty cupcakes, was taken to lunch by “C” and then “T” picked me up for dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. We came back to my place, watched “Tales from a Paralell Universe: I Worship His Shadow” (Lexx in other words) and then he fell asleep. I stayed up, tried to work on Tony’s graphic for his myspace and also ripped live videos of him performing. (Crap! I need to drop those videos off to them like uh, now btw.)

In any rambley event, all is well. I’m feeling good this week (mostly at least) and I’m looking forward to either “R” being here this weekend for belated 30th birthday fun and/or seeing the Meeble-iciousness this weekend for booty-shaking goodness. Of course, I need no excuse to shake, shake, shake, shake my booty. (Sorry, that was uncalled for.)

Must go and return those videos.

- k

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a quickie update (x-posted LJ)

July 24, 2009
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Today is a bit better, my shoulder muscles hurt so badly and are very crampy as are my legs but the good news is the pain isn’t as bad as this week had been. I took a luke warm bath last night and took some Tylenol PM before bed. Sadly, the Depakote seems to make the PM way stronger so I’m groggy for most of the next day but when I take the PM, I hurt a little less the next day. I think that combo helped a lot, making today bearable instead of maddening.

Next week is my 30th birthday! :-) No real hard and fast plans for celebrating since it’s on a Tuesday. Probably drinks tonight at Turf Pub (maybe) then maybe a few friends tomorrow night for dinner, swimming at a strangers house (lol) and then Sunday low key. I wanted to take off my bday but I’m out of vacation time to do so. Ick, I hate working on my birthday!

I hope all of you are well. Gotta get back to work.

love - k

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cranky as Hell (x-posted LJ)

July 23, 2009

I feel a lot of mixed feelings. The last few days, I’ve been limping pretty pathetically. People ask me about a dozen times a day “why are you limping, did you hurt your foot?”. The answer is:

I did not hurt my foot though both of my feet hurt, badly. I didn’t hurt my leg but my leg hurts. My muscles in my body are cramping up like the worst Charley Horse you’ve ever had and they won’t uncramp which makes flexing my ankles hurt like a BITCH. My muscles hurt, burn, cramp. My joins hurt, my bones HURT. My back hurts SO BADLY and I find myself loosing balance on my left side, trying not to walk to my right because that side is the worst and really, I just look f*cking drunk. My dr. ignores my requests for muscles relaxers and the pain medicines are not helping. I feel like f*cking bloody Hell and nothing I do makes me comfortable or makes the pain stop.

Why? Why the cramps, the pain? I don’t have a clue! I know I have a really jacked up spine and a severe vitamin D defiency. They don’t know what’s going on with my muscles and all I know about that is that they spasm and cramp a lot but it’s 1,000 x WORSE in this God-forsaken heat. I don’t know why these things are happening but I drink TONS of water and fluids to keep from making it worse, I eat banannas, I take Vitamin D and I try to sleep as much as I can. Beyond that, I’m at my wits end and I don’t have any more answers for the people who ask me every single day why I’m limping.

I don’t limp EVERY DAY. The heat makes it worse so when it gets really hot, I cramp up and limp. Trust me, I’m trying here! I’m so annoyed by the constant coments from people and I feel really embarassed when I can’t keep up or when people look at me funny. Thinking about this makes me tear up because I don’t know how to make any of it stop. It seems like my dr doesn’t give two sh*ts and I’m sick of paying her and these other dipsh*ts so much money to fix this problem.

I know I need to go back and get more bone density tests, should get some x-rays of my right foot b/c it really does hurt but I’ve been managing with it for a few years now. I should get my back x-rayed again. I should get another EEG and MRI b/c of the reoccuring Myoclonic spasms and how sick I’ve been feeling. But God-bless-America, I just don’t have the energy or the money. I don’t have the time off work. I’m loosing my f*cking mind.

I need a hug or at least a really stiff drink. Instead, I’m going to eat my lunch.

And yes, I’m trying to eat healthier. I do walk a lot no matter how much it hurts.

I need to add Pain Specialist to my list of people to see.

What pisses me off royally is my Mother won’t have sh*t to do with me b/c I vaguely recall her telling me what a whimp I am and how I’m blowing things out of proportion or something. I don’t have words to say how that makes me feel as if all of this doesn’t make me feel like sh*t she has to add to it.

#$%&* #$%&* #$%&*

That was cartoon cussing. Insert whatever you like there.

- k

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just a quick update …

July 7, 2009

The last month as been a cross between busy and not busy. Busier than usual for me but I’m a lazy bastard so really, it’s not been that busy. I just have felt emotionally tired and not up to sharing my feelings with people.

Work is the same. Home is the same. Candle party coming up Saturday which I think no one will come to. Still haven’t gotten food yet.

We do have another cat at home. This new kitty brings the total to 5 cats, 10 fish and 1 dog. The new cat is really “T”s old cat who is now living w/ us. Very cute and snugglicious!

I should go back to the usual toil and boil at work. I just … am tired. It’s the heat I’m sure.

OH! BTW: I went to Prescott over the weekend to visit my uncle. That was great, I should post about that when I have some energy. I did get a bike and new washer and dryer. He’s too nice though those items were going to be disposed of probably anyway. I dunno.

blah blah blah

- k

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animauled. (x-posted to lj)

June 10, 2009

Got home from work last night, perky and ready to have a relaxing evening only to find that my roomie’s dog had gotten into the trash and made a nest for herself on the couch. Ok, that’s fine.

Then I go into my bedroom to find that my door that leads to the yard was open! I was only seeing two of four cats so of course, panic and high pitched squealing set in. I called for Nermal & Artie to no avail. I went up and down the block shrieking until I heard pathetic mewing from the neighbor across-the-street’s yard. I found Artie, wet and ferral looking in the grass. When I approached him, he got all psycho and wouldn’t come to me but he was crying like he was being beaten with a two-by-four.

I finally coaxed him close and grabbed him by the scruff. I dragged him into the house, locked the front door and took him to my room. I went outside to call for Nermal when the damned door swung open again and he ran out! That lil furry bastard (whom I love, of course). He wouldn’t come to me again so I had to chase him down in the yard. Luckily, I had a kitty carrier which I stuff him into. Only to realize that when I pulled the door closed after he got out to avoid further cat spillage, it had locked on me. So there I am, crying and locked out of the house with a whiny cat.

I called my roomie frantically indicating dog/trash and cats escaped. I realize now I was horribly vague. She comes home about an hour later (it’s a loooong drive) to find me in the backyard with Artie just freaked out.

We combed the neighborhood again, calling for Nermal. We spent the next 4 hours looking high and low for her with the help of her ex. He climbed on the roof like a trooper. I took several phone calls (uncommon for me) and got good moral support from my friends.

Around 11 pm I went out again to call for Nermal and there she was, staring up at me by the door with terror in her little eyes. I went to grab her and she took off! I chased her and finally cornered her under the deck. We managed to block the deck off to seal all cat sized escape routes and used a broom to coax her out. I grabbed her by the scruff but she flew out of my hands like a cute furry demon, of course after scratching my chest up. The made for the door so I simply opened it to let her in.

Whew! Whatta night!

Today is fine, woke up with horrible allergies including swollen ear drums, constant sneezing and a sore throat. I’m managing ok. And of course it’s a hellaciously busy day at work. It’s feast or famine and this week, it’s feast time!

Otherwise, all is well again with the world … mostly. Relationships are of course always another issue with me. I had noticed recently that my roomie has been grabbing serious attention from men thinking “geez why can’t I get that” but watch what you wish for. I’m finding that suddenly a half dozen (or more) guys are clamoring for my attention but really the only one I wanted, I couldn’t have. Now that I’ve indicated to him that I’m ready to just be alone for a bit, now he wants to work things out.

Brilliant.

That’s where I am at this moment. Check back as things easily change. Well, that is if you’re interested …

- k

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powerfully under-motivated

June 8, 2009
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I had a good weekend for a change, which included both laziness and activity. I went to First Friday again this weekend (the Phoenix Art-Walk basically) and intended to meet up with Meeble but missed he and his girlfriend at Monochid (though I was there at likely the same time). I did run into other friends and made a night of it, drinking a few beers and enjoying the activity at Firehouse (art gallery/artist space). That was interesting for reasons I won’t get into.

I got home close to 5 am so I spent Saturday sleeping til 10 am and then a period of under-activity. I napped and did some laundry. Sunday I got an invite to dinner with a gentleman I met last FF and whom I got to talk with this FF. He’s a very nice, intelligent gentleman so we had a nice, relaxed dinner at the mexican restaurant at Rancho Mercado and then had a drink at Bikini Lounge (fun for it’s tacky dive bar atmosphere).

And now, here I am at work on Monday. I’m tired and super under-motivated. I spent my morning pouring over some production reports which are pretty fantastic but not exactly what was requested by my manager. I think when they do come together, they should hopefully exceed her expectations. I’m half wanting to pursue these on a quarterly basis and half expecting that after all the work done on them that they will be under-utilized. In any event, they’ve made my day go by quickly causing me to start lunch 38 minutes late.

Otherwise it’s a decent day out and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. My brain isn’t functioning at 100% capacity which I don’t like. I dislike days where I’m not as motivated as I would like to be and lately, I’ve been experiencing that with a scary frequency. I think I need some additional activities or challenge in my day to get me back on track. At least I realize I’m not on the track I’d like to be on. That’s the first most important step, isn’t it?

Hopefully everyone else had a great weekend. I’m going to enjoy my fruit/yogurt and get back to work.

- k

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